‘Mere Wishes’ – A friend’s Note to All Singles

We all wish for certain things in our lives whether that is something tangible or intangible. Growing up, I remember my dad used this quote a lot “if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” This was his way of telling us to get up and do something about an issue rather than wishing for it to happen. This statement has been a guiding principle for me. Whenever I find myself wishing for something, this quote comes to mind and I Immediately look at ways of making my wish come through.

What are your wishes or desires for 2014? For those who desire to be married, it can only be one thing, to find that special person and finally “settle down”. You may call it a desire but some desires are mere wishes, but unlike a wish a desire can be God given, because what you desire for yourself is sometimes an indication of God’s desires for you. When what we desire is in line with his desire or will for our lives, we need to walk with God to fulfill that desire.

I believe that ggetting married is God’s desire for our lives in 9 out of 10 cases.  Our desire leads us to wish for it to happen. However, despite our best efforts this desire still goes unfulfilled. I think one of the main reasons for this is our passive effort in this area. For some reason when it comes to intimate relationships, we sometimes take a back seat. By this I mean we believe that if it is God’s will then it will happen. Yes and No. Yes it will happen. No, we have to actively work or do something to see it happen.

So how do we actively work to bring God’s/our desires to pass?

  1. We need to pray for guidance to go about seeing a fulfillment.
  2. We need to actively seek ways to see it fulfilled. We regards to getting married I believe a lot of us would be long settled by now if we will only make ourselves available for a date. You want to be married and meet the man/woman of your dreams but stay away from social activities, especially those tailored for singles. We go to work and church, that’s all we do for a living. We tell our friends and contact not to match-make us because match making has not worked for us in the past. We do not mingle. How do you expect to be married without mingling? No one knows you are still single but you. Understandably our attitude may be formed from several failed attempts; be that as it may we cannot make it happen by mere wishes.
  3. Be prepared, we should be prepared to meet that special person at any time, so always look the part. We humans are attracted to what we see. So, always try to look nice, well put together. Do not let the stress or frustration of being single or failed relationships be obvious from your appearance and countenance.
  4. Have like-minded people in your social cycle. I believe that having at least one friend who is in the same situation makes a lot of difference. Together you can both develop an active social life: movies night, gym outing, bowling parties, speed dating, and blind dates. Being single can be boring, that’s why research has found out that having a like minded friend have a big impact on our attitudes and makes us more inclined to be adventurous.

Finally, we are encouraged to have faith, but to also work to bring it to pass. According to the Bible, faith without works is dead, says James 2:18 & 20, & 26. Do not say you have faith and do nothing but pray, prayer is good but combined with works, the results will be explosive. So let your wishes or desires not be mere wishes, begin today to actively seek ways to meet that special person. Be available, be expectant, be hopeful, have faith and throw in some works.

Watch this space for future articles by Debbie Ozono

  • Dating in the age of technology.
  • What does it mean to ‘Settle-down’? Does being married translate to being settled, happy or is it just a phase.

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