Making Time for One Another

According to the Coughlin’s, a stressed – out, so-busy-I-can’t-find-my-purse lifestyle often direly lacks intimacy. There’s no substitute for time together with your spouse. If you can’t remember the last time you shared hysterical laughter, you are in desperate need of some mutual fun. Some ways to create time for intimacy includes:

  • Say no to low-priority tasks. Some things really can wait.
  • Occasionally ask friends or family to assist
  • Make ordinary, mundane projects more fun to do together. Listen to music when working on the yard or around the house.
  • Turn off the TV and computers
  • Plan a frozen-pizza dinner for the kids (the kids will thank you for this), then sneak out to a nearby restaurant for a date. Reserve this time for talking about issues that make you feel good together.

Making time for each other doesn’t have to be a huge production. Everyday small talk is a great intimacy builder. Some do’s and don’ts for making small talk something bigger:

  • Do try to sit together, lie down together, or touch during small talk.
  • Do limit the conversation to everyday non-conflict issues.
  • Do “informalise” the time by sharing back or foot rubs, taking a walk, cuddling, coffee or tea, music, and so on.
  • Do keep competing tasks (cooking, changing clothes, dealing with kids or pets or telephones) at an absolute minimum while chatting.
  • Don’t get aggravated or be abrupt.
  • Don’t discuss controversial topics or begin to criticize.
  • Don’t feel forced to keep the conversation moving; periods of silence are okay if you’re connecting physically.
  • Don’t forget to pray with each other and for each other.


Married but not Engaged by Paul and Sandra Coughlin

My Time Starved Marriage by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott