7 Reasons You Should Fight for Your Marriage

I know that the idea of fighting for a marriage may not go down too well with some people based on their past or present experiences, hurts and the pain that this so-called marriage has dealt with them. However I believe that it’s still an area we cannot shy away from. Whilst I appreciate that some marriages are best left alone as all efforts to improve them have proved abortive, nevertheless I believe there are many more marriages that are struggling but are able to survive the storm of adversity, if we would only give the pieces to God and do more on our part.

Below are 7 reasons why I think you ought not to give up on your marriage if you and your spouse are going through a difficult time. This is not an exhaustive list.

  1. Aside from the fact that marriage is one of God’s most wonderful gifts to mankind, marriage is a good thing. God ordained marriage from the beginning so that man can have a helpmate (Gen. 2:18). The whole idea of a man having a helper comparable to him is not so that he can enslave her but so that she can walk alongside him to achieve the purposes of God for their lives. My 10-year-old daughter recently said to me “Mum, I am not going to call Dad your husband anymore but your earthly companion.” Now while that sounded funny coming from a 10 – year old, it couldn’t be further from the truth.
  2. The devil hates marriages and he will do whatever he can to make sure that it does not thrive or that it collapses. Therefore you must guard against allowing the devil to make your marriage a casualty.
  3. Your marriage is part of God’s larger plan for your life. So long as you believe that it is His will for you to be married and joined together with that man or woman, God will use your marriage to work out his purpose for your life.
  4. Posterity depends on the success of your marriage and the next generation is looking at you or waiting for you to come out victorious in the battles that you are facing in your marriage. Your marriage is bigger than just you and your spouse. And although you feel the effect of the highs and lows of the marriage the most, there are other destinies connected to the marriage. If you have children, their long-term happiness may depend on the success or failure of your marriage. This is not supporting the ‘staying together only because of the children’ mode that some couples find themselves in but encouraging a genuine desire to salvage what has been damaged in the interest of the marriage, the couples and other stakeholders. I must admit that some children are better off without their two parents staying together because of how bad things have become. However this is not because marriage is a bad thing but because one or both of the parents is or are unwilling to make the necessary changes or adjustments.
  5. There are no perfect spouses and therefore no A Star marriages out there. Most couples are making the best of what they have and so if you keep investing in your marriage through prayer, placing God at the center and doing your part, God will reward your efforts. Even if you don’t end up with a B+ or B- marriage but a C, your marriage will grow to be a good one with the potential to get better. A marriage is only as great as the attitudes of the two people in it.
  6. Your marriage carries within it the potential to succeed, flourish and to be great. But this can only happen if you persist at it, pray for it and you don’t give up. It will not always be easy but with God all things are possible to them that believe.
  7. Divorce is not always an option! According to some findings from a study of unhappy marriages, researchers from the Institute for American Values asked “Does divorce make people happy?” They found that those who were unhappily married and later divorced weren’t any happier than those who were unhappy and remained married. In fact, two- thirds of those who stayed married reported that their marriages were happy five years later. Georgia Shaffer, a Licensed Psychologist also states the following, “ending a marriage rarely has the magic effect of causing happiness that people expect. It just creates a different kind of problems.